Painful Misunderstandings
by PJCOLE
Summary: Starts just after the end of Buon San Valentino. War themes and angst all around. Some other parings are hinted at. The Genres probably make no sence, but at about part 5 there is a lot of humor, while keeping the angst of the story line.
1. Chapter 1

Ludwig stood silent as tears bubbled over and fell down Feliciano's swollen checks. The German had been frozen for what seemed like hours just staring, with a slightly angered expression, at Feliciano's right shoulder.

"L-Ludwig-" broken with sobs the call sounded less like the word and more like an agonized moan. The little Vargas boy shook, watching as his friends face grew darker and less alive with every passing minute. Most of the people in the restaurant were looking at the scene concerned for the sobbing Italian, a few were slightly angry at the stoic blonde who seemed to be the cause. Three waiters gathered in the back of the restaurant trying to convince each other to go see what the brunette was sobbing for. They liked to think their concern was for the uncomfortable atmosphere that may cause some patrons to leave, but they really they just wanted to comfort the poor boy.

"L-L-LUDWIG, please look at me! Say something , a-anything…" His face was swollen and all confusion about today's events were gone, all he could think about were Ludwig's empty eyes. He reached a hand out and grabbed the blonde's tightly; there seemed to be a sort of reaction to this.

Ludwig's eyes shot over to Feliciano's and then down to his hand which held the brunette's tightly now. It only took seconds for the German to feel the multiple eyes on him and his 'date'. Without a word he pulled Feliciano towards the door and, handing a wad of cash to the clerk, he rushed through the door, still silent.

"Ludwig…" whispered the Italian as he pushed back heavy sobs in slight relief. They did not travel far before the blonde abruptly stopped breathing heavily, in a pained sort of way. He looked down, releasing Feliciano's hand and leaving his own much colder than he would have liked. He had so many thoughts running through his head, questions about the strange memory flashing in his head, about Feliciano's tears, and mostly about the uncomfortable situation he placed himself in.

"Lud-" The blonde hushed him without lifting his head. They stood in silence, well silence aside from the brunette's loud sobbing as he tried to calm down.

"Feliciano." There was a broken tenderness in his voice as the German spoke. "Ho-How…What… How do you feel about me?" The words shocked both men, regretting choosing to ask that question first the German turned a bright red.

"Ve~ what? Why do you ask that Ludwig?" Italy smiled a little at the silly question.

"Please, Feliciano, just answer. I can't stand the confusion anymore." The words weren't biting and angry like they always were, they seemed soft, sad, and full of longing.

"You-you," stuttering the little Vargas struggled to find the answer the big man wanted him to give. He knew saying he loved him would make Ludwig angry and uncomfortable. If anything, Feliciano knew that Ludwig did not like his affection and if he was this serious he would not have the breath to tolerate the odd Italian's ways today. "You're my bestest friend! Yeah, that's what I think about Ludwig." Feliciano smiled proudly, thinking this answer would be normal enough to not trouble the strangely behaving German.

"That's it isn't it? …I really misread… I'm sorry… I- I think I've messed this up… I don't know-"

"What don't you know? I'm your best friend too, right, right?"

"Maybe… but this" the blond grabbed the left side of his chest harshly. "I don't know what I think anymore… and that child in the apron. Why did I see that…. I can't handle it any more… Ich will aufgeben, aber " His breath quickened as he continued slurring German words in with his sighs.

"I don't get what you mean, your saying weird stuff Ludwig. Ve~ lets go back to your house."

"Scheiße." The sudden burst startled a women who walked past. "Feliciano I'm sorry I don't think I can fix the way I'm thinking now… I can't take it back." The tall blonde looked deeply at his shoes. His cheeks were beaming red as sweat slid down his jaw.

"V-Ve~ Ludwig, what does that even mean? I'm so confused!" An army of tears started pulsing from his puffy eyes.

"I'm sorry… I- I wish I would never have thought about your behavior, maybe I would never have realized my thoughts… but- I can't stop them now. The pain won't leave now that I know how much I misread- I can't. I'm…" The German shocked himself with how fast the words left from his trembling lips, he hadn't even realized how much pain he was in until now. He clenched his throbbing heart again. His face turned a pale white as he tried to numb the ripping inside his chest.

"Why are you sad? You acting so strange Ludw-" Feliciano tried to touch Ludwig's flexed hand, but the man backed away before he could.

"Don't come to see me for a while, alright?" It was not really a question as much as a sad request. The words stopped the tears, stopped the sobbing, Feliciano could not move.

"Lud-" was all the paled Italian could utter before Ludwig turned. Neither would ever admit it, but there defiantly was a tear on Ludwig's check as he walked away leaving Feliciano alone, stunned and confused.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time he had gotten home Ludwig had half-way regained his composure, although he did make three or four loops around his house first. He heard some snickering and some light barks, which he assumed were from Gilbert and Aster. He had hoped his brother would not have been home, seeing him would just add to his aggravation. He sighed trying to keep his mind blank and his heart numb. Sitting down on a chair next to a dark wooden side table he saw the manual on relationships. He took it and threw it across the room hitting the stark white side wall with a bang. As soon as it hit the ground he regretted throwing it; he hid his head in his hand waiting for Gilbert to come investigate.

"What's the tantrum for, West?" He continued snickering through the sentence as the Golden Retriever nipped playfully at his hand. Yet when he turned to pick on his little brother, Gilbert froze; his eyes widened at what he saw before him. A black aura surrounded the younger German, who held his face in his hands allowing his hair to fall over his forehead.

"Woah, woah. What's up with the mood, you're gonna make the dogs whine with that." He stopped his light snickering and awkwardly tried to get his brother to look up.

"Bruder, I don't want to talk about it…" He slowly looked up at Gilbert shocking the man further with his dark expression. Before Gilbert could say or ask anything, Roderich and Elizaveta came running in from somewhere in the house.

"What was that thump- Oh Ludwig your back. How did-" Elizaveta began to pry, but the look Gilbert flashed her stopped her before she could.

Ludwig's face began to heat for the umpteenth time that night, understanding that

the Austrian had shared their earlier conversation-about Ludwig and Feliciano's date- with the women.

"He's in a really foul mood, don't bug him," warned Gilbert. Elizaveta was shocked by the seriousness in the obnoxious man's voice.

"I guess it went just like I feared it would. Good thing we found this book, right Elizaveta?" Roderich held up the small manual proudly.

"Oh no, don't use that! It'll just piss him off more!" Gilbert quickly yanked his papers from Roderich's hand, shoving them behind his back.

"How would you know? And give that back, its mine!" Elizaveta stood back watching the two stubborn boys fight over the stack of hand written how-to's. Gilbert had managed to force the book down his pants inviting Roderich to fish for them.

"I paid for that! What do you think you're doing?" He had begun to sweat in anger, little puffs of steam coming out his ears.

"Well, seeing as I'm the author, I think I can do whatever I want with it!" Gilbert flinched, realizing he just admitted to tricking Roderich, preparing for Elizaveta's smack. She did as was expected and hit the top of her old accomplice's head harshly.

"Why are you always doing things like this, gosh grow up a little," a small giggle escaped her lips ruining the moment.

"See you know it's funny! And yet you still side with him!" Gilbert slightly hit Roderich's shoulder as he gestured, earning another scowl and head smack.

As the three argued over the strange issue, the silent blonde grew farther and farther away from it all. His head hurt, his chest ached and every breath felt like it was his last. The crease in his brow thickened as he tried desperately to sort his mind, attempting to place everything he was feeling into the correct spot. The arguing in front of him waged on as Gilbert childishly declared that his 'awesomeness' was better than Roderich's Piano skills. Yet, to Ludwig the room was silent - painfully silent. Desperately he rummaged through his mind trying to decide what to do, how to stop the aching, how to become completely numb.

If only he could go back to before Feliciano had come asking for a job, before Ludwig had captured him, maybe even before he had gone looking for the white-flag-fanatic altogether. He used to be content reading history books, building cars, and simply being alone. Now, he felt lonely going only ten minutes without an interruption from Feliciano. His emotions had even gotten the better of him regarding the war. Almost every day he would argue about Hitler's tactics, failing at being a true soldier.

That's it, a true soldier, that's what he would become. Lose his emotions and simply follow and give orders like he should. No more irrationally sacrificing his men to protect Feliciano. No more arguing for the people Feliciano said did not deserve their fate. No more Feliciano. Just Italy, as an ally and nothing more. He would be the perfect soldier.

The aches subsided slowly as his face chilled. Fading away the lines in his face took the blush with them. His fists relaxed and the memories with Feliciano faded into the back most corner of his empty mind.

He was not Ludwig anymore, he was Nazi Germany.


	3. Chapter 3

His ceiling had gotten very boring to stare at so Ludwig now sat up examining his room. It was boring too. White walls and white sheets made the room seem lit even at two a.m. A brown dresser stood center on the wall across from his bed. Nothing but his planed outfit for tomorrow sat on it. The other two walls both had a door encircled in brown book shelves (that matched his dresser and bed frame). One led to a small bathroom, also mostly white, the other to the rest of the house. He had one picture in his room, on his night stand table, of him and his brother by broken pieces of the Berlin wall. Despite his many bruises and scars, Gilbert had a bright smile and his arm was draped over Ludwig possessively. Ludwig just looked content. The picture was about twenty years old.

Italy had come to congratulate the brothers on their reunion that day and awkwardly made small talk with Gilbert while Ludwig, after a few pleasantries, partially ignored them. After their rather disastrous date, Ludwig had not spoken much to Feliciano, aside from military orders. So, it had not really surprised him when he heard of Italy's surrender to the Allies, it barley even bothered him. Even Hitler's Decision to invade Italy's home had not bothered him. He had become the perfect soldier, who followed orders regardless of personal opinions, with absolutely no complaints. Surprisingly, this worked wonderfully until about three years after Hitler killed himself, removing the need for any type soldier.

No one had really given him orders, other than an overly forgiving treaty Alfred had planned out, so he spent most of his days reading and cleaning up his house. Not many people came to see him for the first few years after his surrender and those who did were the representatives from one of the allied nations. That was actually a nice part of the war aftermaths; he really could only complain about one piece of it all. He had been forbidden from seeing Gilbert. It brought him to slightly hate the relaxed treaty. As much as his older brother annoyed him, he had been lonely without his company. The house had felt very empty and quiet without Gilbert's outrageous snickering. Plus, Russia always made Ludwig uncomfortable, which lead to many sleepless nights of worry for his brother

Looking back it was the long hours alone that really helped Ludwig overcome his emotional breakdown. When he thought about his decision to simply become Hitler's pawn he could not help but feel a little embarrassed. Even though he had managed to make the hurt from his misunderstandings fade away, it never really left. As he recovered, the thoughts just resurfaced along with all his cherished memories with Feliciano. They were cherished, as much as Ludwig hated to admit, and every memory with the silly Italian was confounding.

He rubbed his temples as the image of Feliciano cooking pasta in the desert flooded into his mind. The familiar pressure built under his ribs and it was all he could do not to cry out in pain. Standing up he took long deep breaths in an attempt to alleviate the throbbing before it became unbearable. This pain was both new and familiar to the tired German. It had been nearly a year sense he last had the need to sooth it, but having gone many years with its constant appearance he knew it well. He knew the reason for his insomnia was the ever looming fact that tomorrow was Valentine's Day.

_No. No remembering that. _He tried to stop his subconscious, but it was already too late. Memories of the catastrophic night rushed to fill his mind. The disapproving eyes of the waiters in the back corner were on him, the sobbing Italian once again grabbing his hand. Cold February air rushed against his cheeks as the Italian spoke the words, the words that ended everything. And then he was back, back to room with Gilbert, Roderich and Elizaveta, slowly spiraling into the darkness.

This time however he just punched a wall and awoke to his ever comforting white walled room. The steady sound of rain on the roof brought his heart beat down and recovered his sanity. He sighed realizing this day would be just like every other Valentines eve. Grabbing his gloves he walked down stairs to begin his yearly intense home cleaning.

Of course his home was always neat and organized, so finding things to clean was half the task. Usually he bleached the counters or steamed clean all the carpets (except for Gilbert's room, which no one would go in without a hazmat suit). Today he decided he would also re-alphabetize/categorize his book collection and Gilbert's CD assortment. Seeing as Gilbert entertains himself by undoing every pattern his little brother set up, Ludwig knew he was in for a long ordeal.

Just as he had presumed, the living room shelves had absolutely no order to them. Verwesung was before Blinder Instinkt and an unmark CD lay amongst the books. Trying to undo the damage without removing everything would be impossible, so Ludwig set to work extracting stacks by the armful. He had placed every CD and book into separate piles by first letter when he heard a strange noise. At first he passed it off as his brother throwing things in his sleep again, but when it repeated he realized it was coming from the front door.

It repeated faster and louder each time until it was a continuous stream of thuds. The German hesitated before standing and walking towards the obnoxious drum line, afraid that Roderich had woken up in a panic and came running for god knows what, again. Holding back a series of profane comments he turned the door knob. Much to Ludwig's surprise and disbelief, standing on his porch was a wet, sobbing, shivering and very pant-less Italian.

Before a coherent thought could form, the soaking mess threw its arms up and crashed right into his chest.

"Ludwig!" It cried as they both fell backwards onto the B and F piles. "F-F-Feli-" The name refused to leave his lips, halted by the pressure from earlier returning. His breath caught half way through his lungs and his finger tips began to go numb. The room started to spin as the smell of rain stained cotton surrounded him. He could almost feel the water soaking into his black tank-top, but the sensation was not completely processed.

"Ludwig, Ludwig, Ludwig."

The situation soon became shockingly clear; there Ludwig lay with Feliciano crying into his chest. Feliciano was on top of him. Feliciano was wet. Feliciano was in his house. Feliciano was in his house, wet, and most importantly, on top of him.

"Ludwig, Ludwig." The brunette buried his head further into Ludwig's chest muffling the words.

"Wh-why?" was all the disoriented German could gather enough breath for.

"Ludwig… I miss you so much." Feliciano's words where soft, yet powerful. "I miss you. I miss you. I miss you."

Before Ludwig could process anything, he needed to deal with the three things his mind had already registered. First of all, the fact that Feliciano Vargas was lying on top of him. He waited only long enough for the Italian to stop repeating 'I miss you,' before slowly raising the both of them. Having been moved rather unexpectedly, Feliciano quieted down and hesitatingly placed his hands in his lap. The blonde wasted no time and swiftly picked the wet brunette up by the waist and deposited him a few inches from Ludwig's side.

"Ve~" Feliciano opened his eyes wide in confusion as the flood of tears slowed. Now for the second issue, the brunette was covered in rain water. Due to his lack of pants, Feliciano would be very susceptible to a cold and as a fellow European nation Ludwig reasoned he should prevent this. Without so much as a word he stood, walked into the hall, grabbed a towel from a nearby closet, and threw the towel at Feliciano. With a heavy shiver the Italian accepted the white linen.

He continued to shiver rather violently giving Ludwig no end of (rational) fear. Subconsciously remembering the many winter nights Feliciano had come to the German house in a similar state, Ludwig decide Hot Chocolate would be a sufficient cure.

The Italian watched every move Ludwig made, from the comfort of the living room floor, as the German meticulously prepared the hot water to boil. Never looking towards the, now mostly dry, Italian, Ludwig found the cup he always used to prepare drinks for Feliciano in. A long while ago he had attempted to throw it out, but Gilbert had taken it out of the trash. This thought forced the clean-freak to wash the mug while waiting for the water to bubble.

Before the water could pop more than two bubbles (Feliciano never liked his Hot Chocolate too hot), Ludwig was pouring it in to fill half of the clean mug. He then found a pack of Gilbert's _Instant Coco Mix _and ripped it over the half-filled cup. While stirring the mixture he removed a small measure of milk from the microwave and added it in. The very thought of how sweet and creamy it would taste tickled at Ludwig's gag reflex, but Feliciano loved when the German made the special _Crema di Cacao (_as Feliciano referred to it)_. _Adding two rather large marshmallows, Ludwig brought the warm mix to the waiting Italian.

"Crema di Cacao! You made it for me." mused Feliciano, as the German tried to mask his blush.

"I used some of Gilbert's Instant Mix for it; I didn't have any nice brands. I hope it still tastes alright," the words were strained and felt weird on his tongue.

Feliciano made no hesitation in smiling as he swallowed half the mug in one swig. He gazed up in amazement and said, "You even made sure to not make it too hot."

Suddenly, his subconscious actions hit him. Ludwig's face darkened at the realization that he had remembered exactly how to prepare the drink to Feliciano's tastes. He had even gone out of the way to wash his specific mug. Also, he had torn open a new bag of marshmallows just for the Italian.

A heavy sigh rose from Feliciano's mouth, ripping the German from his thoughts. "This is what I miss so much. Most everyone else would have asked me why I was here first, but you made sure I wouldn't get a cold, even made me some Cacao." The extent to which Feliciano knew Ludwig scared the German. "It was always so nice to come here in the winter, back then," Feliciano's voice shook a bit at these words, "you always had something to give me." Gesturing at the towel and mug he looked, with a sad smile, into Ludwig's blue eyes.

A part of the blonde wanted to hug Feliciano, make him smile again, anything to remove the hurt look on his face. The dominate part, however, just froze in pain. The pressure in his ribs resurfaced once again, but more powerful this time. A throbbing pain hit his temples and his vision began to blur. The look on Feliciano's face just grew graver in response. Ludwig's need to comfort him was growing unbearable. The last issue needed to be addressed.

"Feliciano…I- I think you should leave," he whispered, as the pain in the shorter man's eyes burned permanently into Ludwig's memory.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yay! I finally remembered this! Just want to thank everyone who commented and Favorited this story, you're what kept me writing. Also thanks to americalover94 for all the editing she did for me. Sorry for the delayed up date, second semester decided to punch me in the face. Also, sorry for how long this is getting, I meant it to be 4 parts, but here we are at part 4 and still quite a ways from the climax. **

**No more rambling and onto the story! Please comment and enjoy.**

"Feliciano…I- I think you should leave," Ludwig whispered, trying to ignore the pain in Feliciano's eyes. A silence fell over the room, so much so that Feliciano almost heard Gilbert's snoring.

"No," the Italian said surely gripping the mug tightly between his fingers. "Not until I do what I came for." His voice came out oddly, far too serious, but it needed to be for what he planned to say. Ludwig started to interrupt and inquire about his reason, but Feliciano stopped him with a solemn face. Standing in the silence, the Italian thought back on his reasoning for the walk (run) here.

It was that time of year again. People were buying flowers or Baci Perugina and singing songs of love. The color red covered almost every floral-smelling market place. As wishful women stared at rings in shop windows, lovers made plans and walked hand in hand. Walking through the street, anyone could feel the excitement and happiness of the crowd. Almost everyone was preparing happily for Valentine's Day (only two days away). In fact, the only person not bubbly dancing through the streets with a pretty girl was Feliciano.

He knew there was a time when he too had joined in the festivities, adoring the loving feel of the day. But, it had been nearly sixty years sense his last real celebration and the last time he was even home on the day. Spending Valentine's Day alone only brought back bad memories for Feliciano, but he never could bring himself to be with a pretty girl. Sure he thought about it a few times, but it only made him think of Ludwig.

They had not spoken since that day when the Berlin wall came down and even then they only shared a few nice words. Feliciano knew he should not have expected much more, he had been a horrible friend to the man. During the Second World War, the strong German had saved him so many times without many complaints. All Feliciano did to repay this was betray him and surrender to the Allies and even then Ludwig had come to protect him. Lovino had explained that the German troops were not there to protect him, but to invade his home. Still, Feliciano believed it was really to protect him from the Allies. Now, it was sixty years later and he had no one to call when he could not tie his shoes or when he ran out of water to make pasta. In fact he did not really have any one to call, ever. Sure he had Kiku, Antonio, Francis, Roderich, Elizaveta, Gilbert, Alfred and many others that he liked to hang out with, but they did not come running like Ludwig used to.

That, however, was not the issue at hand. Today he needed to find somewhere to go so he would not be home and alone on Valentine's Day. He started with his brother.

"Ciao," surprisingly, it was Antonio who answered.

"Big Brother Antonio?" Feliciano asked happily sitting up.

"Feliciano? How are you? Did you want to talk to your brother? What about?" Antonio sounded excited and happy, like he had just won a fabulous prize. From behind him Feliciano heard some cursing from his brother as he yelled, "we needed to finish packing Tomato Bastard, don't go fucking answering the phone like you live here Damn it!"

"Oh calm down Lovino, it's just your brother," the Spaniard replayed softly as Lovino cursed and yelled at the sweet voice to stop molesting him.

"Are you going somewhere?" Feliciano asked, after hearing about packing, with a sad tone.

"Yes, yes. We are going to a resort in my home. I finally got Lovino to agree to spend Valentine's Day with me! Isn't that wonderful!" Antonio's tone immediately changed to that of a child before Christmas as he almost sang his reply.

That took both Lovino and Antonio off his list. "I hope you have fun, I'll let you get back to packing." Feliciano tried to sound cheery, but failed.

"Oh Feliciano. I forgot, you usually spend Valentine's with one of us. I'm sorry. I know you don't like being alone, why don't you try Francis?" Antonio's tone once again did a one eighty and he seemed quite hushed (no doubt trying to keep another reason to cancel out of Lovino's ears). As much as Feliciano loved Big Brother Francis, spending Valentine's with him usually got very awkward.

"It's fine, I have a bunch of people I can call. Have fun with Lovino and tell him I hope he has fun too."

"Will do, see you later!" Antonio giggled into the phone as he hung up before Lovino could start cursing about the packing again. Feliciano smiled as he reassured himself of all the other people he could call.

But, the list only shrunk more and more as the day turned to night. Kiku had apologized for having too many Manga deadlines coming up to be able to entertain. Roderich had not even bothered to answer after four calls (probably playing rejection songs on the piano). Elizaveta had giggled about Gilbert inviting her somewhere secret, taking the both of them off the list. Calling Alfred he hoped that maybe his rather new friend would be available.

"The Hero speaking," Alfred answered in his usual excited tone.

"Ciao, Alfred. It's Feliciano." he tried to sound lively, but he had been calling people for hours and felt very tired.

"Yo, what's up Dude? How ya' been? Long time no talk!" Alfred seemed busy, but willing to forget his duties.

"Everything with me's good, how about you?" It was hard to keep up with the small talk, he really just wanted to ask if the American was busy for Valentine's Day, be rejected, hang up and then pout some more.

"I'm actually off the walls right now! Artie's coming to New York to spend Valentine's Day with me! Don't tell him I told you though, he gets all flustered about us dating." At least Feliciano was spared the fake apologize, too bad this meant another two people were off his list. He did not really understand why Arthur would be flustered; everyone had been placing bets about when it would happen. Feliciano smiled realizing he had won against Kiku.

"Oh, that's good to hear. Hope you two have fun. I shouldn't keep you, talk aga-"

"Wait why'd you call?" Too bad Alfred decided to be observant today. Most everyone else had just let him hang up to absorbed in their happiness to bother asking.

"Oh, no reason, just board I guess." He did not really feel like explaining his feelings for Valentine's Day, again.

"Yeah, me too. So what are you doing for Valentine's Day? Got anyone to hang with?" Feliciano heard the other man sigh and drop down on some sort of cushion.

"I don't really like Valentine's Day, and I'm still trying to find somewhere to go," he said before realizing it would open the exact can of worms he intended to leave closed.

"Why would you go anywhere? I heard your place is awesome this time of year. Plus you got plenty of hot girls to pick from." He seemed genuinely interested in the response so Feliciano decided to elaborate. By the time he finished the sixty year long story, Feliciano was in tears and mostly babbling. Alfred, who had yet to finish a six inch pile of paper work, listened quietly responding only when necessary.

"Dude, that's ruff. I've always been wondering what happened between you guys. You seemed to be conjoined at the hip back then." Alfred sighed lying back on his sofa as Feliciano gained control of his sobbing. "But, I don't think I'm the one you should be telling all this to, ya' know."

"W-what do you mean?" The Italian's voice was shaking and caught between deep breaths.

"Well, I'm just saying this from experience, but it never goes well when you hide your feelings from someone. It's not good for anyone involved," Alfred explained as he thought back on the many years of skipping around his feelings for Arthur. "Honestly, I think you need to talk to Ludwig about this."

"VE~ I-I don't know-"

"Seriously dude, I-hell-everyone sees the way he looks at you in every meeting. He obviously misses you, maybe he's thinking the same stuff you are. You won't know if ya' don't ask." Smiling, the American thought back on the day he finally got a date with Arthur.

"You-you, really think so?" Feliciano spoke suddenly, dragging Alfred from his blissful daydream.

"Huh… Oh yeah, yeah! Definitely, why don't you go there now! Just run on over and tell him all this. See what he says!" Maybe Alfred was slightly on cloud nine for the coming holiday with his new boyfriend, but he still thought the idea was good.

"I don't know. It's almost 10 over here. Wow, we've been talking so long." Feliciano was not crying any more, and seemed more concerned about talking to his American friend for over three hours.

"Haha, it's cool. Got me out of paper work for another day, but don't change the subject. As the Hero, I have a responsibility to make sure everyone's happy. So hurry and take care of it," earnestly, Alfred continued to cheer Feliciano on until the Italian found himself grabbing his jacket and heading out in the outfit he had worn for a siesta earlier that day.

Feliciano stood staring at the carpet beneath Ludwig's feet, gripping his mug so tightly the German feared it would break. Gathering as much courage as humanly possible for the cowardly brunette, Feliciano forced his gaze to Ludwig's deep blue eyes.

"I want to say I'm sorry."

**A/N: Yeah, yeah another cliff hanger. Sorry, please don't shoot me. But please do comment! When I know I got people reading I like to write faster heehee. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you to all 650 hits I've gotten! If only I got more than 7 comments (nudge nudge, wink wink). This part seemed to write itself, so if you have complaints blame the characters they made me do it! Anyways we are getting closer, this is basically the beginning of the climax, Enjoy! **

"I want to say I'm sorry." Feliciano kept complete contact with Ludwig's stunned blue eyes, as hard as it may have been. "Sorry for everything."

Thinking back on his three hour conversation with a surprisingly helpful American, Feliciano attempted to loosely formulated his words. "All those times when you had to come save me, all the times I just caused you trouble or got us lost. Every last bit of it. I'm so so so SO sorry." Heaving a sigh the brunette continued as Ludwig just stood stunned and silent.

"You always were the first person I'd call, no matter what. Even when I knew you didn't have time to help me. But, you'd always come without getting too mad, so I- I never really thought about how bad I was." His words were increasingly hard to understand as the Italian went on. Pushing his tears back as best he could, he tried to piece the perfect words together. It was all he could do not to look down and start twisting his fingers together.

"I was so selfish, and, and I … I just felt so safe, and happy, with you that I forgot about you." Nothing was coming out the way he needed it to. "No, I mean I didn't forget you, I forgot your feelings, yeah I forgot your feelings and only cared about my own. You always worked so hard in the war, you might have even won if you didn't have to think about me all the time. I really wanted to be a good ally, but I just messed everything up!"

"Feli-" Ludwig tried to get a word in but the Italian was much to fast with words.

"I even betrayed you. I betrayed you Ludwig! How can you even stand being in the same room with someone so- so horribly stupid and cowardly?" Feliciano grabbed Ludwig's shirt and cranked his neck up to stare straight into the blondes eyes, tears falling from his own. "And even after all that, you still came and fought for me!" Ludwig's face grew dark at those words.

"No! I invaded your home! Do you know how much damage I caused?" The words cut through Feliciano's rant like a dull knife. Ludwig's hand griped the brunette's shoulders tightly as he closed the distance between their faces (slouching forward to do so).

"B-but you-"

"I completely disregarded you and charged in at the first command! How can _you _stand to be in the same room as someone so horribly stupid and cowardly?" Ludwig's eyes looks so pained, Feliciano wanted to look away but could not.

"You're not a coward, or stupid! You're the smartest and bravest person I've ever met!" Feliciano tightened his grip around the German's tight shirt, yelling loudly at his face.

"Smart, brave…" Ludwig turned away, releasing his grip on Feliciano. Turning his face to a nearby wall he started laughing painfully. "HA, I am anything but those two… I let one stupid misconception destroy me and send me into some mental break down! All because I was too stupid to realize how one sided everything was!" He pressed a tightly clasped fist against his forehead, wincing in pain.

"Ludwig… wh-what are you talking about?" Feliciano tried to reconnect his hand to the soft cotton of Ludwig's shirt but quickly retracted when sharp blue eyes caught his.

"It still hurts, just the same as it did back then. The way you act still gives me a headache." Looking at Feliciano's horror struck face, Ludwig hurried to rephrase. "Not because you annoy me, you just… you're too confusing!"

_Why am I telling him all this, now? I've been content just keeping it to myself. But, I don't want him to cry anymore. _Ludwig thought, swallowing hard he braced to continue.

"I'll never understand it. How you can just act this way with everyone. How you don't seem to find it weird to show up at anyone's house late at night, dripping wet, and warring no pants." Ludwig forced himself to not look down at the brunette's bare legs. "And I don't think I'll ever understand the effect it all has on me." Finally their eyes met again and Ludwig was surprised to see Feliciano's eyes dry and wide.

"I-I don't do this to everyone. I only forget my pants 'cause I'm in a rush to get here. And I only rush here because when I need to see you, I can't wait."

"Please, Feliciano. Don't say things like that, it just hurts worse…I'd rather you did this to everyone!" The German's eyes were mistier than Feliciano's, but he had enough strength to leave it at that.

"But, I haven't had to miss anyone else. Not the way I had to miss you." Feliciano's eyes were once again leaking water as he thought back on the many lonely years. He dared to say they were worse than the many after the collapse of Holy Rome. "All those years, I've missed you. More than I've ever missed anyone! I know you didn't want to see me anymore and I can't blame you. After all the things I did, all the times I made you do things my way, all the hurt I cause you when I betrayed you, I can't even understand why you haven't forced me out yet!" Feliciano crashed into Ludwig's arms, and held tightly as if that would prevent the blond from kicking him out.

"Feliciano," Ludwig breathed as he allowed the hug. "I-I missed you too, you know?"

"Then why did we go so long without each other?" Sobbing violently, Feliciano wrapped his arms tighter, never wanting to let go.

"Because I am a horribly stupid coward." Ludwig mimicked Feliciano and pulled him closer.

"How, I don't know why you say that."

Sighing, Ludwig finally realized the only way he would ever get the pressure off his heart and the pain out of his head. "I let my feelings for your break me."

"Ve~ Ludwig I-"

"Do you remember that Valentine's Day, almost sixty years ago?" Ludwig rested his chin on Feliciano's head sighing as he slid his arms lower around the brunette's waist. Of course Feliciano remembered, It was all he had been thinking about for the past few days, but all he could manage in response was "Ve~ …yes."

"Well, it was that day when it happened. I really was stupid for not realizing them sooner, but it was right around then that I decided that I felt more than friendship for you." The words sounded much to matter a fact, but Ludwig could not really explain it any other way. Feliciano tightened in his arms, but the blond just continued.

"I guess most people would say I fell for you, but I don't think that was it. I think I had already fallen for you and it just took that day to make me realize it." It was rather surprising how easy it felt to speak the words he had denied for so long. "But, when I asked you how you felt, you responded… well I guess it's the way you should have, but it wasn't really the answer I wanted. So being the stupid coward I am, I just ran away and shut my feelings off." He decided that holding Feliciano this close while declaring his long love for the man must be making the poor Italian uncomfortable, so he silently backed away.

Feliciano just stood, in shock, where Ludwig had left him. Then, slowly at first, the brunette's hand raised to his forehead. He then proceeded to repeatedly smack himself while spitting "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh mio dio io sono cosi stupido!"

Ludwig eye's simply widened at the sight in front of him. Red heat drenched over his cheeks as he began to believe the Italian was referring to Ludwig's confession. He felt a new and more powerful pain grip his chest.

"VEEEEEE~ How can I be so stupido! WHY!" His head began to hurt, so Feliciano stopped beating himself and slowly began to calm down. That was when he saw Ludwig's hurt expression.

"Oh no, no. Not you! I'm the stupid one. VE~ the so very stupid one. I can't believe this was all because of that. I need to go hit my past self!" He cupped Ludwig's hand in his own and continued shouting. "Tutti quegli anni, it all happened because of that! Why didn't I just- Oh mio dio! I AM SO STUPID, LUDWIG!"

"Feliciano, um.. Could you please explain… What on earth you are TALKING ABOUT!" Ludwig peeled his hands out of the Italian's to grip to smaller man's shoulders once again.

"That day, that stupid day. When you asked me how I felt I only said you where my bestest friend, because I thought that was what you would want to me to say." Feliciano's eyes were red and puffy. He tried to hit himself again, but he could not make his hand hit his face due to how closely he was being held by Ludwig.

"W-what-"

"Oh mio dio! If only I would have said what I wanted to! Why didn't I?" Feliciano shook his head violently as Ludwig sat staring at the odd scene, uncertain of what to say or do.

"What, what you wanted to say?" The German finally managed. Feliciano opened his eyes and frowned.

"I wanted to say I love you, but you- you never seemed like you thought that way so I didn't. I've always wanted to say that and I thought I missed my chance." Looking deeply into the object of his affection's widening blue eyes, Feliciano lightly smiled. "I love you Ludwig. I love you so much and I never stopped once these years we've been apart."

"Fe-fe-fe." Ludwig's face was an entirely new shade of red, to dark to be called tomato, but to light to be called fire. He continued stuttering the first syllable of Feliciano over and over again as the poor Italian watched in fear. The German's hands dropped from Feliciano's shoulders and he began to step backward in confusion. "Feliciano. Wh-What are you saying?"

"I am saying what I should have said back then. Ludwig, I Love You." Feliciano's eyes were serious, but his characteristic smile was still smeared across his face.

Ludwig did not respond, his face slowly drained of color and his blue eyes grew cold. He focused on a small speck of dust on the carpet as forgotten memories flooded his mind: every moment without Feliciano, every moment with him - down to the green dress and white apron.

**A/N: Cliff hangers are becoming my thing. Please no -is shot in the face- but, look I'm nice and remembered translations:**

**translations: Oh mio dio sono cosi stupido - Oh my god I am so stupid**

**Tutti quegli anni- All those years **

**Also please please please! comment!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is still reading this! Just to warn you, Prussia is in this chapter… so you should know that means cussing and innuendoes. But, all in all this is my favorite chapter so far. So enjoy! **

Ludwig stood silent as tears bubbled over and fell down Feliciano's swollen checks. The German had been frozen for what seemed like hours just staring, with a slightly angered expression, at the carpet. Feliciano knew this look all too well; it had replayed in his mind countless times.

"Oh no, I broke him again," the sniffling Italian whispered pathetically. He searched his mind for a way to break the trance Ludwig was under yet again. _What had it been to finally wake Ludwig up last time? _He thought through the night over and over until he remembered. He smiled and lightly blushed as he reached for the blonde's hand.

It was callused, but it still felt wonderful in his own. Swallowing, he tightened his hold and looked up longingly for a reaction. No such luck. His blue eyes kept staring aimlessly at the carpet, almost as if he saw something there.

"Ludwig, Ludwig," the brunette whispered as he shook the callused hand violently. He was at a loss of what to do, nothing reached the German. Feliciano's voice grew louder every time Ludwig's name escaped his lips. Within a minute he was screaming it.

"LUDWIG, LUDWIG. PLEASE WAKE UP! ANSWER ME!" He had given up on shaking his hand and now held the blonde's broad shoulders, swaying himself and Ludwig back and forth slowly. He wasn't really crying too much, though his eyes were wet. Somehow he felt he had run out of tears.

"LUDWIG!" The name hardly sounded like a word anymore, seeing as Feliciano had repeated it at least fifty times. "LUDW-"

"WEST WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" Feliciano turned, wide eyed, to face a disheveled and groggy Gilbert. "Seriously! What-" he had finally stopped rubbing his eyes and took in the sight before him. "Wait Feli, what are you doing here? What's wrong with my brother! Why isn't he moving?"

Gilbert rushed over and proceeded to poke his younger brother repeatedly in the cheek. No reaction. "What the hell is wrong with you? Hey, don't ignore you're awesome big brother! Weeeest! Weeeeeeeest!"

"I think I broke him!" Feliciano sobbed cutting off Gilbert's one sided argument. He shot confused red eyes at Feliciano taking in the sobbing and pantless -kesesese- boy.

"What do you mean you broke him? Was it because you're not warring pants? Wait don't tell me you… you know?" The Prussian looked wearily between the Italian and his little brother. All of Ludwig's clothes were on. Maybe it was a quickie…

"What? What do you mean?" The innocent look at Feliciano's face answered Gilbert's question and he could not help but feel bad for thinking such things. _Wait a second. When was the last time Feli came over? Didn't something happen between them? _The Prussian thought, finally fully awake and alert. "Feli, what are you doing here?"

Feliciano's eyes grew dark as he looked away. "I- well Alfred said…I just missed him." His cheeks were somewhat pink, making Gilbert panic at how cute the little brunette was.

"Woah, it's cool. You don't need to explain. W-why don't we just try and fix West. Okay," He said flashing Feliciano a wide-but forced- grin. The Italian returned it with a halfway broken side-smile.

"What do you think we should do?" Feliciano asked longingly.

"Uh.. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!" The Prussian screamed directly into the frozen blonde's ear. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST," he repeated a few more times, with no avail.

"He really is broken!" Feliciano's face crashed into Ludwig's unmoving chest. "Come on wake up. Please," his voice was soft and pathetic. No tears fell from his face as he clung tightly to the blonde's overly muscular chest. "Please, I'm sorry if I made you mad for saying that, but…you said it first so I thought it was okay," he whispered knowing nothing would be heard, but still hoping.

Gilbert felt rather out of place and distanced as he watched Feliciano's plea. He felt at a loss of what to do.

"Well, we're just gonna give up are we? The awesome me never gives up! So come on let's figure out a way to fix him, alright?" He began to uncomfortably laugh waiting for Feliciano to let go of Ludwig's waist.

"…okay, how?" Big brown eyes looked up in pained curiosity at Gilbert. _Damn you Feli, you're too cute not to help. _

"Well… let's just make as much noise as possible! I turn on some music and you go get some pots to bang together!" Gilbert laughed his obnoxious laugh as he ran over to the piles of CD's Ludwig had started sorting. After destroying each one thoughtfully he picked some heavy metal track and put it in the CD player. Hooking up his large speakers and turning everything up to the red zone he pressed play.

The room shook at the random volume and Gilbert found himself falling backwards and gripping his ears. He did not even hear the crash of Tupperware in the kitchen as Feliciano reacted to the heavy music strumming in his ear.

"GILBERT!" the Italian tried desperately to reach the Prussian, who lay upon piles of books and CDs with his ears plugged and eyes screwed closed. "GILBERT!" Feliciano cried again as he came closer to the albino. Finally he grabbed at the taller man's shoulder in attempt to gather his attention.

"GILBERT! THIS IS TOO LOUD! PEOPLE ARE GOING TO COMPLAIN!" Feliciano claimed, knowing full well the nearest neighbors were quite a distance from here, for whatever reason Ludwig liked the country side and had chosen to live off the beaten path.

"SORRY FILI! I CAN"T REALLY HEAR YOU! THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD!" he exclaimed standing up to face the Italian.

"WHAT? TURN THE MUSIC DOWN IT'S TOO LOUD!" Feliciano screamed back at him.

"I THINK I'LL TURN IT DOWN, IT'S TOO LOUD TO HEAR YOU!" Gilbert turned around and quickly turned the volume knob down to almost zero. "DAMN! EVEN MY AWSOME EARS COULDN'T TAKE THAT!" he shouted, his ears still ringing.

Feliciano rubbed his ears, looking at Gilbert in thanks.

"That was so loud!" both their ears were still recovering so Feliciano's shout seemed like a whisper. "I wonder if Ludwig woke up." They both turned to the blond in anticipation. Yet, there was absolutely no reaction. Ludwig just stood exactly where and how they left him.

"GOD DAMN IT! How could my awesome plan not have worked!" Gilbert stomped angrily to his little brother's side. "WEEEEEEST, wake up now!" He angrily shoved at Ludwig's shoulder multiple times, until he ended up tackling the man. The brothers both fell down hard against the floor, Gilbert started cursing, but Ludwig only went completely limp. Standing up Gilbert continued to yell at his brother for remaining asleep. "YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST IGNORE ME! EH WEEEEST! ANSWER ME!" Gilbert's temper was as bad as Feliciano had ever seen, but that was not what he was concerned with. Tears bubbled in his darkening eyes.

"He's never going to wake up!" Feliciano sobbed, with tears this time, now that his tear ducts had recovered from the hours of sobbing. Gilbert stood there as dumbfounded as ever, unable to comfort the Italian. They both just stood looking down at Ludwig, whose eyes were now shut. Gilbert thought desperately on what to do and Feliciano slowly stopped crying. Then a rather awesome- if he did say so himself- idea came to him.

"Hey you know what we should do?" Gilbert asked elbowing the disappointed Italian. "Get some sharpie. KESESESE~"

"Why would we do that?" he asked confused by the sudden remark.

"You know. To draw on him! KESESE. We could write funny stuff all over his face and he wouldn't be able to stop us." The Prussian continued laughing obnoxiously, deciding where would be the best place to write 'PRUSSIA WAS HERE'.

"Gilbert! That's mean!" Feliciano looked up in horror. "Why would you do that to your brother?"

_Oh great a guilt trip from a depressed Italian. _Gilbert thought trying not to look down at disapproving eyes."Sorry, sorry. I know it's mean," he admitted before adding "But, what else can we do with him?" still wanting to scribble a mustache on Ludwig.

"Well we can't do that." Feliciano said rather assertively, looking away in thought. "…and we shouldn't just leave him here."

"Where do you 'spouse we take him then." Gilbert crossed his arms in disappointment._ I just wanted to have some fun._ He then jumped up in excitement, startling Feliciano. "Oooooo~ we could dumb him in some cold water!"

"VE~?" Feliciano was still recovering from Gilbert's sudden attitude change.

"You know, maybe that would wake him up!" Feliciano only shook his head.

"If loud music, screaming and you pushing him on the floor didn't wake him up… I don't think anything will. And then we'd just have to clean up a soaking Ludwig." Gilbert stuttered in shock at the logic behind Feliciano's calm words. "Maybe, we should put him in his bed." Feliciano suggested

"Wait. What? Have you seen him?" Gilbert gestured to the extremely large and muscular man passed out on the floor. "There is no way we can get him to his room without hurting ourselves," Gilbert protested, pouting. Feliciano looked up at him sadly, begging with his eyes.

"NO, nope. No way! I'm not gonna hurt my back for a brother who WON'T ANSWER ME!" he screamed down at the German lump on the floor. Feliciano made his face even sadder- if that was possible- distending his lower lip. Gilbert could feel himself breaking.

"I would if I could Feli, but he weighs 3 tons, I swear." He said thinking back on the few times Ludwig had passsed out drunk. "I may be awesomely strong, but that is just too much. I can't do it." Although he said that, he knew if he really tried it would work, and he also knew he would end up trying. Feliciano sighed a sad sigh, masking a slight grin at an idea he just sparked. He looked up with puppy dog eyes into Gilbert's protesting red ones.

"Sure you can… you're the awesome Prussia." With that Gilbert smiled and bent to Feliciano's will.

"Yeah, your right! I can do this! Just help me get him on my back! It'll be no problem." Of course it definitely was a problem. Ludwig was limp so lifting him onto Gilbert's back was an ordeal for both of them. He even fell against the floor a few more times, but eventually Gilbert had him secured and was slowly moving towards Ludwig's room. Feliciano was sure to open the door for Gilbert and help slide Ludwig onto the bed. Gilbert heaved a sigh once the weight was off of him and even cracked his back. Looking down at his little brother, limply sprawled on the bed, Gilbert could not help but feel some concern.

"If he doesn't wake up by lunch, I'll need to cancel my plans with Liza. Maybe just move them back, she'd understand. Hopefully." Gilbert whispered as Feliciano sat down on the bed next to Ludwig's limp body.

"Don't do that! You were planning on spending the weekend with her, right? If he isn't up I'll stay. I could probably get Roderich to help me too." Gilbert was a little shocked that Feliciano knew his plans, but shrugged it off.

"You sure, I mean I'm his my brother. If he's really gone and broken himself, then I should probably be the awesome big brother and make sure he is okay." Gilbert puffed his chest out, as if to add the big brother façade but Feliciano knew he was really just worried about his little brother.

"If you want to that's fine, but really I want to take care of him" He smiled then added in a whisper "… I'm the one who broke him."

"Well, hopefully he'll wake up before we have to worry about any of this stuff. Stupid oaf, making the awesome me get all worried." Gilbert smiled optimistically a small laugh escaping between his teeth.

"Yeah I hope so too…" Feliciano looked down at what appeared to be a peacefully sleeping Ludwig and sighed gravely. Gilbert just nodded and excused himself, feeling like the room had suddenly become too crowded. Feliciano took no notice and simply scooted closer to the Ludwig.

"Please wake up soon." He sighed laying his head down on Ludwig's chest listening to the steady beat of his heart.

**A/N: Haahaa I love having those two team up! Gosh I love Gilbert soooooooooo much! Anyways I've already started the next part, so hopefully it'll be up soon! Please, Please comment!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So much for having this up soon, sorry for being too horrible at uploading this, my life is just so busy lately. Anyways I think we are down to the last two parts, excluding an epilogue. If you think I'm starting to leave something unresolved please tell me so I can make sure and address it in the last part (if not the epilogue). Thank you and Enjoy! **

If he was not so worried, Feliciano may have fallen asleep on Ludwig's steadily rising and deflating chest. It was well past two a.m. and Feliciano had not slept since his siesta at noon. Yet, even with his eyes closed, he would not let sleep take him until Ludwig opened his eyes. Feliciano breathed in a deep sigh and opened his eyes, looking up at the German's soft face. It seemed so peaceful and relaxed; he could not help but wonder what was spinning through that blonde head.

He sits looking at a white canvas, his hand shaking as he tightly grasps a wooden brush. The hand moves and begins to drag itself across the stark white canvas. His eyes follow it, watching closely as it tries to paint what appears to be a bunny. The picture is not very good and he can feel his cheeks burning. A small voice sounds next to him, drawing him out of a daze. His head moves and his eyes are greeted by a sweet childish face of a young girl. The curl that falls out the left side of her bandana reminds him of someone he knows. The girl smiles and claims that she can show him how to make the picture better. Her small hand grips his lightly, causing more heat to reach his cheeks, and pulls it up to the horrendous picture. She controls his hand as she explains what she is doing. Somehow her sweet words and gentle help saved the image. She smiles at him and it makes his heart flutter. Having no control of his body, he is unable to say more than the hurried thank you his lips muse. His face turns away much to his dismay and looks deeply at the picture as is fades into something else.

The wind blew through his cloak and her hair aimlessly as he confesses his long love to her. She asks with teary eyes if what he speaks is true and he promises it is. The air grows still as his hand tightens around a wooden push broom. His lips form a solemn smile as he says his farewells. His body turns itself away and towards a group of patiently waiting soldiers. The girl calls out to him, making his head turn in wonder. She cries out to him, promising to always wait for him. She tells him to expect candies and other sweets when he returns and his lips cannot help but form a smile. His hand rises and waves back to her as he voice makes promises, "We'll see each other again. We will, we really will. No matter how many years go by I'll always love you more than anyone in the world." Her face brakes into a smile before the image slowly fades again.

He pulls angrily at a tightly shut box as its contents plea to be left alone. As soon as the lid is off a boy jumps up and begins to apologize and beg for mercy. Ludwig watches through his eyes as this oh too familiar scene unfolds. The day he first met the useless Italian. He chuckles lightly as he hears his old self declare that the brunette must be trying to trick him. The scene ends rather abruptly when his arms hit Feliciano's cheeks with the butt of his gun. Another image quickly appears.

A song plays through his mind as he watches through his eyes again. Feliciano starts to sing his song of gratitude, but does not finish before the image fades again. The next few images go like this, showing just enough for Ludwig to realize what it is, but not enough to be enjoyed. Some are amusing to look back at while other hurt his pride. Finally the flashing images begin to slow as memories he longs to forget begin to play.

The night he lost himself to the war, the day he charged into Feliciano's home, the endless nights of loneliness and finally today.

Feliciano stares up at him crying and explaining his love. Ludwig's heart flutters as he watches the scene play through. He desperately wants reach out and hug the blabbering brunette, but he still is only watching memories. The words of love echo over and over until, suddenly, everything vanishes, leaving Ludwig in black nothingness.

"I'm glad he moved on." A voice calls out of the darkness Ludwig drifts aimlessly in. It sounds young, but old at the same time- strange, yet familiar.

"Huh." Ludwig calls back. He reaches out into the haze, lost and blind.

"I feel dumb for thinking he was a girl." The voice chuckles solemnly.

"Who are you?" the confused German shouts towards the voice.

"I am you," it replies quickly, before adding quietly, "or at least a part of you."

"What do you mean? Why are here? What is Here? And what do all those memories mean?" He shouts up in the darkness, demanding answers. His head aches as he tries to piece together what he had seen.

"They are ours. Mine, but also yours. Back when we were me. Back before the fall of Holy Rome." There is a longing in his voice, a loneliness behind his words.

"You…you mean that was me. And that girl, was-"

"Italia. Italy as you call her-him… still seems odd." The voice comes closer now, Ludwig can almost see the body it belong to. There is a silent pause before the face reveals itself. A small child in a black cloak and large hat appears before him. Their eyes meet- blue on blue. At first Ludwig cannot understand what he is seeing. It seems to be him, but a him he has never seen. They look alike and yet they do not. The small boy comes closer, slowly. Ludwig raises a hand to touch him, not knowing if he is really there or just another passing image.

"You better take good care of Italia." His whispers just before Ludwig's hand reaches his skin. When it does, the boy vanishes, replaced by something different, filling the spaces in Ludwig's mind.

"Italia." the German nearly whispers. The memories fit together like a puzzle as Ludwig falls out of the dark space he floats in. A part of him he never missed is there, filling a hole he never saw. It does not seem to crowed his mind, seeming as though it had always been there, trapped in the darkness he visited. All the pieces of his life fit together: from the wars, to the nostalgic piano music, to the secret glances form barley cracked doors. The times between the images he saw all slowly fell into place: fights with Francis, chasing young Feliciano, all of it leading up to the memory he use to regard as his first- when Gilbert had declared himself as Ludwig's older brother. Everything made sense, every last confusing detail of his life. He felt his eyes begin to flutter open as he was pulled out from his now complete mind.

He opened his eyes, as the darkness completely faded. There was a weight on his chest, but not the same as he had felt earlier that morning; it was something laying down on him. Adjusting to the slightly lit room, he looked down towards his chest. The mussed brown hair of his useless Italian. Emotions swelled within him as he thought back on the many centuries with Feliciano. Unable to stop himself he wrapped the brunette in a tight embrace, causing the Italian to gasp.

"L-Ludwig?" He asked breaking the hug to stare into Ludwig's opened eyes. The tears still left in his eyes fell as he hurriedly wrapped his arms around the, finally, awake German.

**A/N: Wow, this is kinda short. I hope the flash backs weren't weird. Please comment your thoughts, good or bad!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm sorry! Es tut mir leid! Mi dispiace! I really wanted to get this up sooner, but I kinda got sucked into usuk's sweethearts week and well yeah… Anyways this is the last chapter (aside from a possible epilogue I may or may not write). It has been a fun ride and I want to thank everyone who has stuck it out and especially those who commented. Anyways, onto the story!**

"Ludwig, Ludwig, Ludwig!" Feliciano cried over and over, tightening his grip around Ludwig's neck. The German let him do it and even held the other just as tight. Where was he going to start? Part of him could not wait to tell Feliciano all he had seen, while the other was not even sure if he wanted to share his memories. Maybe it did not really even matter. So what if he was the same Holy Rome the Italian had loved so long ago? Feliciano loved Ludwig now and no hazy memories would change that. Would they? That thought is what kept him silent simply enjoying the warmth of Feliciano's chest against his own.

Yet, there was a nagging in the back of his mind, a sorrow drifting behind his happiness. So many years he had left that little Italian in a green dress missing him, breaking promises and letting the brunette move on. Did it hurt? Did he spend days, weeks, months crying over the lost love? Would he be angry if Ludwig told him who he really was, what he had been? Would the man Ludwig loved so dearly hate him for the promise he broke? Was Ludwig willing to risk losing him again, risk falling back in that darkness? He knew no answers.

Pulling away reluctantly, Feliciano wiped the tears from his eyes and sat back on his knees. Ludwig sat up as well, leaving one hand to rest on the Italian's thigh, afraid that this was just another flashing memory. The German put a little too much presser on the other man's leg, but it just made Feliciano smile lightly. He slowly looked up into Ludwig's eyes letting his smile fade a little, but it returned quickly. The German looked down at him with eyes Feliciano had missed so very much, eyes he had not seen in many long years. Soft and longing, they looked only at Feliciano.

They stayed like that, looking into each other's eyes, seeing more than just the color, but all good things must end. Soon Ludwig realized where he was. Reluctantly breaking from Feliciano's gaze he scanned his surroundings

"Feliciano…How did I get in here?" He finally looked back at the brunette, cocking an eye brow.

"Oh, well you were passed out on the floor and I thought I would be better for you to wake up here." Feliciano smiled proudly in response. A strange noise drifted from Ludwig's lips. It was probably a chuckle, but it had been so long since the German had made such a sound so he could not be sure.

"Why are you laughing?" So it was a chuckle. Soft blue eyes met wide hazel ones as Ludwig's smile spread slowly over his face. It was a closed mouth one, but looked wonderfully happy all the same.

"I just imagined you dragging me to this room. You trying to lift me is a pretty funny idea." He chuckled a bit more when Feliciano started giggling back.

"No no. Gilbert woke up and helped me… well he did most of it, I could never lift you." The both chuckled at that. For a while the room felt as light as the white on the walls, but their laughter slowly faded and Feliciano's face became very solemn. The pain in the hazel eyes made Ludwig's smile fade as well. "I'm glad I could make you smile again." Coming out as a whisper the words made Ludwig's brows furrow and his eyes clasp shut.

"You're the only one who could." A sharp intake of breath was the only response, before a thick air built up in the room, almost suffocating Ludwig. At the moment he decided Feliciano needed to know; he needed to know everything. It was worth the risk, the chance to be completely open with the only person Ludwig would ever want to know him that well.

"I met someone… while I was… asleep, I guess." Sighing he looked up into Feliciano's eyes. "Someone you knew… Someone I think you loved." He paused planning exactly how to tell Feliciano and how to apologize for leaving him alone for so long.

"Ve~ wha…" Feliciano tilted his head fading away with Ludwig's look. He was going to continue in his own time.

"You knew him a long time ago… you knew us a long time ago." He took another deep breath and heaved a sigh. That person was him, he had the memories now, but it still felt weird to say it. "You knew me a long time ago."

Feliciano's thinking face was rather amusing as he tried to decipher the deeper meaning. Ludwig gave a half smile in response before clearing his throat and continuing on. "Back then though, I was not Germany… I was…"

"Holy Rome," Feliciano finished with a shaky voice. His eyes were wide and misty and his lips parted slightly in shock.

"Ja… I did not know until today. I didn't have any memories before meeting Prussia, until I met… that part of me." If Feliciano thought the idea of meeting a part of himself was odd he did not voice the opinion.

"You-you really are… him?" His breath was quick and sharp, but tears did not start to fall until he said, "I thought you died." Ludwig's face twisted in pain as he watched the pain his stupid younger self had caused. Lifting his hand off of Feliciano's leg, the German wiped away the salt water with his thumb. He then cupped the brunette's red swollen cheek, rubbing his thumb slowly against it. Feliciano smiled painfully and leaned into the hand.

"I'm so sorry, Feliciano." Some warm water inched out of the corner of Ludwig's eyes, even though his eyes were clasped shut. "All those years, my memories were trapped in some dark corner of my mind." Feliciano grabbed Ludwig's free hand and held it tightly between his, placing the bundle of fingers lightly in his lap. "I promised I'd come back and see you again, but I never did. I broke all my promises. I'm so sorry Feli." Enough water had escaped from his tightly shut lids to be counted as crying. His breath, however, remained steady.

"But, you didn't break any promises. You did come back. You came back… and taught me how to really love." Ludwig's eyes opened quickly to see Feliciano's rather dry ones. A soft smile touched the Italian's lips as he let one of his hands wipe away Ludwig's tears. "Even without knowing it, you kept your promise to me… we saw each other again." Weaving his fingers through the hand still over his own, Ludwig copied Feliciano's sad smile. Feliciano sighed and gave a soft squeezed to the German's strong hand before looking away from those soft blue eyes. "If anything I broke my promise. I waited for a long time, but I met… you and…" The last two words made Ludwig's heart flutter just a little bit.

"No, it had been centuries, you thought I had died… I would have wanted you to find happiness." The blonde replied softly.

"You always reminded me of him, but I never would have guess you were…" A soft chuckle escaped Feliciano's lips as he trailed off.

"I know."

"But Ludwig, I want you to know it was not the parts of you that reminded me of Holy Rome that made me fall for you." Feliciano earnestly looked into the deep blue pools of Ludwig's eyes gripping his hand tightly. "Even if you never did remember, it wouldn't of changed anything. I'd still be here with you tonight. Because I love _you_, Ludwig, in a different way than I ever felt for Holy Rome." Ludwig completely understood what Feliciano meant. The way he felt about the Italian now was not from the childhood crush he once had, but from the friendship he had built with the man. It was the older, forgetful, useless, loving and wonderful Feliciano he was in love with.

"Feli… Ti amo." He whispered pulling the brunette closer. The both smiled softly, tears in both men's eyes.

"Ich liebe dich auch." And finally, after centuries of waiting, they shared a soft, simple kiss.

**A/N: Writing this in the rain while listening to sad music was a bad idea. Anyways, I'm glad to have finished, but I'm sad for this to be over! Luckily, I have two AU multi-chapters I'm planning, plus I really wanted to write an epilogue, so you have not seen the last of this girl! Hope to see you on my other stories!**


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